Friday, March 8, 2013

What It All Means

Most of the time, I am pretty positive, but I'm also a realist, and when it's hard, I let people know it's hard. I struggle sometimes with the glass half full concept. I don't typically trust people who are happy or pretend to be happy, 100% of the time. It's ok to get frustrated, as long as you don't allow the negativity to stick around too long. But lately I've found myself really struggling. The past few weeks have been hard. Up until this week, Sophie has challenged me to the brink practically every second of everyday. Even when my mom was here for a week helping me every second, I was challenged. I feel like I suit up to go into battle everyday. Nothing prepared me for having a toddler. It is unbelievably difficult, but this week and in particular last night, I was struck by what it all really means.

Ready for her closeup, and Disney in May!
Since Monday, Sophie has been relatively easy. She's been cooperative, happy, agreeable, delightful, and totally fun to be around. Those of you familiar with toddlers, well those of you who aren't one of those perpetually shiny happy people or on Xanax, know that life with toddlers is not always happy and agreeable. But after the last few weeks, I needed this past week. It's like God has given me a glimpse into the delightful person my Sophie will become when we come out of the toddler phase. It's a safe bet that she's going to be pretty darn amazing. This week she told me she loved me.  Sophie will come up to me and throw her arms around me, just because. She will lean in and kiss me and exclaim "MUAH", followed by giggles of pure delight. I can't really explain it, but in the last few days I have caught glimpses of a child, not simply a toddler. Then last night. Oh last night. She was up from 10:30 until 2:30. We don't know why. Steve finally put her in bed with us. Sophie rolled over and cuddled up to me. She put her head against mine, and I began stroking her face. Sophie in turn, began running her hand up and down my arm. She looked at me and smiled, then leaned in for a kiss, sighed contentedly, and fell asleep. That, people, is what it all means. I lay there, fighting back tears, and prayed this one simple prayer over and over. Please Lord, never let me forget this moment.

My little Minnie, and the first tulips of the season! Praise God!

And now pictures. We are in the midst of preparing for the best Minnie Mouse Little Gym party in history...... Meeska Mouska Minnie Mouse!

XOXO


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