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| She was such a sweet baby! |
As of today, I have nine friends who are expecting baby number two, and three friends who have given birth to baby number two within the last four months. I jokingly say that it must be in the water. I am so happy for my sweet friends, but I am pretty sure that I'm not even close to being ready to have another Sophie running around.
Apparently, my husband is ready for another bundle of joy. Today, out of the blue, he asked me if I was sure I wasn't ready to get pregnant again. I was totally unprepared for this conversation, and had no idea he'd been thinking about having another baby. I'm pretty sure some of this was sparked when he noticed a dad feeding his baby a bottle at the zoo today. Steve actually pointed out the dad. Not typical behavior. I also think seeing Sophie in a pony tail has brought home that she is no longer a baby.
So how do I feel? I'm not really sure. Everyone knows I had a totally icky pregnancy, filled with hyperemesis for the first 14 weeks, followed by 26 weeks of constant nausea and almost daily vomiting. Oh, and lots of weight gain. I do not look like Kristin Cavallari when pregnant. I am more Jessica Simpson. Well, not that huge. But close. By 7.5 months, I had gained 35 pounds. After that, I stopped looking. When I weighed myself two weeks after Sophie was born, I had 20 pounds to lose. And it took me a full year to lose that weight, and an additional 9 months to lose an additional 5 pounds so I looked like myself again. This may sound shallow, but for someone who has battled eating disorders her entire life, it is a huge deal. I was also borderline crazy during my pregnancy. I had pregnancy rage- BAD. Some days I was either crying hysterically over a Budweiser Clydesdale commercial, or screaming at my husband for some ridiculous reason. So the thought of going through the vomiting, nausea, swelling, crazy emotions, and weight gain all while taking care of an extremely busy toddler, terrifies me. Sure, people do it all the time. I know that. There is nothing unique about my situation. Although, none of my friends currently pregnant had hyperemesis with their first babies.
Furthermore, our house isn't really conducive to having a second baby. We'd have to move Sophie upstairs, where I'm pretty sure she'd have trouble sleeping due to all the noise on Mockingbird. A point which I did bring up to my husband before buying this house, but not wanting to crush his dream of living in the Park Cities, I didn't push it too hard. We also have little to no storage space, and we have no extra room for anymore toys, clothes, or mammals. So, unless Steven has an extra $200,000 lying around, we can't really afford to buy a bigger house in the Park Cities right now. And I don't think either of us is thrilled with the thought of moving to the suburbs. The Park Cities is an amazing place to raise children. We have access to the best public schools in Texas, and it really feels like a small town. We are really happy here.
Which brings me to the most important point. I'm not even sure I want another baby. I'm perfectly content with my Sophie. I definitely don't feel like anything is missing in my life. I don't feel some void because I only have one child. I don't believe that having another child would make me happier, or our lives anymore fulfilling. Would it be good for Sophie to have a sibling? Maybe. But having a sibling doesn't guarantee a close relationship, either while growing up or in adulthood. I know plenty of people who have complicated or downright hostile relationships with their siblings. But I do think that babies are wonderful, and if I were to get pregnant, I'd be happy. I have a lot of love to give, and Steve is an AMAZING dad, so it would be great! I think my hesitation stems from the actual pregnancy, not the baby itself.
Sophie isn't even two yet, so I think we have some time to figure this out. I told Steven my non negotiable is a trip with Sophie to Disney World before another pregnancy. She loves Mickey & Minnie, and that's definitely one memory I want to share with just her. In the meantime, I will enjoy hosting and attending showers for my beautiful friends who are expecting, and holding their tiny newborns!
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| With her buddies, Mickey & Minnie |
Enjoy some recent photos of Sophie, my one and maybe only! ;)
XOXO
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| Leaving School |
